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Financial Fundamentals

Jefferson Fisher on Money-Related Conflicts in Relationships

β€” Alexandra Ardelean

Jefferson Fisher is a personal injury lawyer and the founder/CEO of Fisher Law Firm. He's renowned for his skills in communication, argument, and negotiation. His Instagram boasts 2.8 million followers, and he's well-known for posts on topics such as handling belittlement, receiving compliments, and dealing with narcissists.

In this interview, Rachel introduces Jefferson Fisher as a guest on her show and praises his Instagram content. She mentions that he's renowned for his expertise in communication and negotiation. They seamlessly transition from the personal introduction to discussing common money-related conflicts.

Rachel asks about common money-related conflicts, specifically between spouses. Jefferson explains the importance of addressing root causes in repetitive arguments. He advises breaking the cycle by identifying the underlying issue and addressing it directly.

Jefferson delves into the concept of money as a filter for deeper relationship issues. He believes that money often serves as a proxy for other problems in relationships. By learning to address these root causes, people can improve their communication and resolve conflicts more effectively.

Jefferson provides strategies for staying calm during conflicts, including verbalizing feelings and managing body tension. He emphasizes the importance of slowing down and being intentional with words.

Jefferson shares personal experiences with his wife's communication style. He explains that she's an external processor who likes to discuss issues immediately. As an internal processor, he prefers to take time before addressing problems. He advises internal processors to communicate their needs clearly and schedule conversations when they're ready.

Jefferson discusses setting boundaries using "I" statements. By clearly expressing their limits, people can prevent conflicts from escalating. He advises pausing conversations if boundaries are crossed, allowing both parties to cool down before continuing.

Jefferson addresses those who unintentionally say hurtful things in conflicts. He advises considering the impact of words before speaking, especially when emotions are running high. By taking a moment to reflect, people can avoid saying things they'll later regret.

He discusses the fight response in conflicts and the importance of considering the other person's perspective. By practicing empathy and active listening, individuals can de-escalate conflicts and find common ground.

Jefferson mentions writing a book with Penguin Random House and his law firm, Fisher Firm.


Rachel congratulates Jefferson on his achievements and encourages the audience to check out his work.