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Financial Fundamentals

5 Money Questions You Should Ask Your Partner

Alexandra Ardelean

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When you're in a relationship, it's important to be on the same page financially. Whether you're dating or married, understanding each other's financial values and goals can help you build a strong foundation for your future together. In this video, I'll share five money questions you should ask your partner, whether you're in a dating relationship or are already married or engaged. By having open and honest conversations about money, you can ensure that you and your partner are aligned in your financial journey.

Importance of Financial Alignment in Relationships

Being on the same page financially with your partner is crucial for a healthy relationship. It helps to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts in the future. It also helps to set common goals and work towards them together.

Introduction to TAPL Game

I love playing TAPL with my family and colleagues. It's a great way to get to know each other better and have fun at the same time. I highly recommend it!

Questions for Dating Relationships

If you're in a dating relationship, it's important to start discussing money after a few months of dating. While you don't need to dive into every detail of your finances right away, having general conversations about money can help you understand each other's financial values and goals. Here are five questions to consider asking your partner:

Timing of Financial Discussions in Dating

It's important to remember that these questions are intended for when you've been dating for a few months and feel comfortable having more serious discussions about your future as a couple.

Question 1: Thoughts on Debt

What are your thoughts on debt? Do you have any? How do you approach managing it?

It's important to understand how your partner views debt and their approach to managing it. While having debt isn't necessarily a deal-breaker, it's essential to know if they have a plan for paying it off and if they are actively working towards becoming debt-free.

Question 2: Financial Goals

What are your financial goals? Are you actively working towards them?

Understanding your partner's financial goals can help you see if they have a clear vision for their future. Whether they want to buy a home, start a business, or save for retirement, knowing their aspirations can help you see if they are financially responsible and proactive in achieving their goals.

Question 3: Investment Habits

Are you investing? What is your approach to financial risk?

Knowing if your partner is investing and how they view financial risk can give you insight into their long-term financial mindset. Whether they are conservative or more aggressive with their investments, understanding their approach can help you see if they are financially savvy and forward-thinking.

Question 4: Housing Situation

Do you rent or own your home? How might this impact our future plans?

Understanding your partner's housing situation can give you insight into their current living arrangements and how it might impact any future plans you have together. Whether they rent an apartment or own a house, knowing this information can help you see if they are stable and responsible with their living situation.

Question 5: Income

How do you feel about sharing income details? I'd like to understand your financial situation better.

While discussing income can be sensitive, especially early in a relationship, it's essential to have open communication about each other's financial situations. You don't need to share exact numbers right away, but having general conversations about income can help you understand each other's financial standing.

I remember when I was dating my husband we had some interesting conversations about credit cards. He was very against using them while I was all for them! We also had some interesting conversations about our future plans - where we wanted to live, what kind of house we wanted etc. It was really helpful for us both to understand where the other person was coming from so we could make decisions together that worked for both of us.

Questions for Married or Engaged Couples

If you're already married or engaged, these questions are tailored specifically for more serious relationships where combining finances and making long-term plans together is more relevant.

Introduction to Questions for Married/Engaged Couples

If you're already married or engaged, these questions are tailored specifically for more serious relationships where combining finances and making long-term plans together is more relevant.

Question 1: Habits Around Giving

What role does giving play in our lives? How do we want to incorporate generosity into our financial strategy?

Understanding each other's habits around giving can help align your values when it comes to being generous with others. Whether it's through charitable donations or supporting family members, knowing how each of you views giving can help create a shared vision for incorporating generosity into your financial strategy.

Question 2: Combining Finances

If our finances aren't already combined, what hesitations do we have about doing so? What would need to change for us to feel comfortable merging our accounts?

For couples who haven't merged their finances yet, openly discussing any hesitations or concerns is of utmost importance. Whether it's because of differing spending habits or past financial experiences, understanding the reasons behind any hesitancy can help address underlying issues and work toward building consensus.

Question 3: Money Tendencies Affecting Spending

How do our attitudes and behaviors around money influence our spending habits? For instance, do I tend to be more of a spender, whereas my partner leans towards being a saver? What underlying factors and motivations drive these tendencies?

Understanding each other's tendencies around money - whether one person is more of a spender while the other is more of a saver - can help identify potential areas of conflict when it comes to spending habits. By understanding the motivations behind those tendencies (e.g., upbringing, personal values), couples can find ways to balance each other out and create healthy spending habits as a team.

Question 4: Feelings Around Budgeting

How do we feel about budgeting as a couple? What methods have worked well for us in the past?

Discuter des sentiments autour de la budgétisation en couple peut aider à identifier les éventuels défis liés à la gestion conjointe de l'argent. Que l'un des partenaires se sente restreint par la budgétisation tandis que l'autre la considère nécessaire pour la stabilité financière, comprendre les points de vue de chacun peut permettre de trouver une méthode qui convienne aux deux.

Question 5: Long-Term Financial Goals

What are our long-term financial goals as a couple? This could include retirement planning, travel aspirations, housing dreams (buying vs renting), education savings (for children), etc.

Establishing shared long-term financial goals is crucial for couples who are building a life together. Whether it's saving for retirement, planning for travel adventures, deciding between buying vs renting a home, or setting aside funds for children's education, having clarity on these goals can help guide your financial decisions as a team.

I recommend using Every Dollar app which is great because it allows two people access so both partners can see what’s going on with the budget at all times!

Conclusion and Practical Advice

Having open and candid discussions about finances with your partner is key to establishing a solid foundation for your relationship. Asking these five questions—regardless of whether you're in the early dating stages or already married/engaged—can offer valuable insights into each other's financial mindset and aspirations. This exercise will help ensure you're on the same page as you work towards constructing a stable and thriving future together.

I hope this video has been helpful! If so please share it with your significant other so that they too can benefit from these questions! And let me know what else would be helpful when talking about money with someone else!